


Means to an End

by anachronism



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, In which Anakin isn't a Jedi, One Shot, he's a pilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6264967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anachronism/pseuds/anachronism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin decides that maybe becoming a Jedi isn't for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Means to an End

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr. Edited only vaguely in transition.

Padmé’s queen outfits are elaborate and expensive, but Anakin thinks it’s her smile that makes her beautiful.

“We’re indebted to you Ani,” she tells him.

“I’m glad I could help,” he says earnestly. Maybe he hadn’t known what was going on in the beginning, but Qui-Gon had said to trust his instincts, and blowing up the ship had apparently won them the battle.

“I’ve been speaking to my advisors,” she says, “and we all agree. Such bravery should be rewarded.”

Anakin looks around him. Padmé’s handmaidens are scattered around the small sitting room. Each of them offers him a kind smile when he meets their eyes. It makes him lightheaded. He can’t remember the last time he was the subject of so much genuine good will at once. (The Boonta Eve Classic notwithstanding. There were several gamblers who had wanted to kill him afterward, he was sure.) “A reward? For me?”

Padmé grins and lights up the whole room. “Something of your choosing. You don’t have to decide now. Take some time to think it over.”

Thank goodness. He barely knows what to think. Maybe he’ll find Qui-Gon and ask him for advice.

-

Qui-Gon is dead.

“But,” Anakin protests, “he’s a Jedi.”

Jedi are invincible. That’s what the stories say.

Obi-Wan takes the time to kneel so they can be at eye-level with each other. “I’m sorry young one,” he says. Although there’s something about the stoop of his shoulders and the lines on his forehead that makes Anakin think that he should be apologizing instead. Obi-Wan looks unfathomably sad. “However you need not mourn his passing. Master Qui-Gon has become one with the Force.”

Anakin isn’t sure what that means, but he doesn’t think that it makes Qui-Gon any less dead.

He tries anyway; but his eyes refuse to stop watering.

Obi-Wan places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I promised my master that I would train you in his stead, if becoming a Jedi is still your wish.”

Anakin tries to take a steadying breath and hiccups instead. “You would do that?” If someone had asked him just a few minutes ago, he wouldn’t have been able to say for certain whether or not Obi-Wan even liked him.

“I would.”

He fiddles with a fraying patch of his shirt. For as long as he can remember, it’s been his dream to become a Jedi. A vague dream, perhaps, full of lightsabers and strength and freedom, but… it was his. Recently, his dream has begun to take on a more concrete shape: taking lessons in the halls of the massive Jedi Temple; a uniform that people would respect wherever he goes; a padawan braid to prove that he has the best teacher in the whole galaxy.

Qui-Gon is dead, and it feels like a part of Anakin’s dream has died with him.

“I –” he stops. A loose thread twists beneath his fingers.

Obi-Wan squeezes his shoulder. “It’s alright. Take your time. It’s a lot to take in. We’ll be here for a few days yet. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask me.”

“Okay,” Anakin whispers. “Thank you.” And he watches as Obi-Wan disappears down the long palace corridor. Between one step and the next, the world blurs too much for him to see.

-

The pyre is a crowded affair. It seems like everyone important in Theed turns up. The Jedi Council flies in from Coruscant to honor their comrade. Something about the first loss to a Sith that the Order has seen in an unspeakably long time.

Anakin observes everything from the sidelines. Not a one of the Jedi sheds a tear. Not even Obi-Wan, who has purportedly spent years being mentored by Qui-Gon.

If this is what it means to be a Jedi, he’s not sure he wants any part of it.

-

Freedom, for the short time he’s had it, has taught Anakin several things.

Starships are even more wizard than he imagined. Coruscant is a real ecumenopolis. The best people can be found in the most unlikely places.

Jedi aren’t invincible. No one is.

Here’s the thing: becoming a Jedi is a means to an end. He wants to free his mother and the rest of the slaves on Tatooine. For the longest time, becoming a Jedi seemed like the best way to do that.

But the last, and perhaps most important, thing that Anakin has learned is that he doesn’t need to be a Jedi to help people. Twice now he’s done just that by being nothing more than who he is – a small boy who’s good at flying.

And he’s no more or less vulnerable than any other being in the galaxy.

Learning how to be a Jedi would be wizard, but it would also take time. Years, maybe. Flying, he already knows how to do. Flying, he’s good at.

Already he misses his mother more than he can say, and Qui-Gon (probably more than he’s allowed).

Mind made up, he goes off in search of Padmé.

-

She gives him the requested ship, something impossibly sharper and sleeker than the cruiser they’d travelled on to Coruscant. To his surprise, R2 is waiting for him inside.

_Something to remember me by,_ says the note stuck to the astromech’s casing.

(Like he needs an astromech to remember Padmé.)

(He grins so wide it hurts.)

Given half a chance and something to pilot, there’s nothing he can’t do. He’s about to prove it.

He plots a course for Tatooine.

**Author's Note:**

> Bb!Anakin is my favorite Anakin.


End file.
